Humour: How To Tell If You Are Possessed By A Demon!

How To Tell If You Are Possessed By A Demon:

By Reap Paden

– The toilet paper in your bathroom is made of bible pages.

– Your dog has hooves.

– When the power goes out your the only one carrying black emergency candles around.

– All your furniture is covered with clear plastic over the ‘rotting flesh’ patterned fabric.

– Country music doesn’t seem so bad.

– Chris moon keeps calling tryin to ‘work a deal’.

– You have a welcome mat that reads ‘Home is where the suffering and sorrow is’.

– You get a horn trimmer as a gift.

– That damn sunburn just won’t seem to go away.

– At your kids birthday party they play ‘pin the nail on the savior’ and the pinata is baby Jesus.

– On Christmas you go around knocking on doors and asking for candy.

– When you get drunk, the room doesn’t spin, your head does.

– Whenever someone uses the lords name in vain you get all ‘tingly’.

– The only channel you get on the TV is that damn 700 club and the All Tyra channel.

– You can start the barbecue pit with your finger.

– The last time it rained at your house was 43,000 years ago.

– All your neighbors are jerks, and they are always screaming.

– God won’t return your calls.

About Andrew

Co-founder & lead investigator of Paranormal Encounters. I've experienced the paranormal all my life, having encountered ghosts, angels and demons. I live in a haunted house and when not exploring and researching the unknown, I enjoy single malt Scotch whisky & potato chips (though not necessarily at the same time).